My eldest dog got skunked last night. It wasn’t NEARLY the first time but this time was different.
Let me set the stage. Before the skunking, I burned a bag of microwave popcorn. I don’t make popcorn very often, and I’m in a new house with a different microwave than I am used to so I went with the higher suggested amount of minutes written on the bag. I figured I’d just pull it when it stopped popping – that’s what most of us do right??? Except I decided to take the garbage bag outside to hand off to my husband. But he wasn’t right off the porch so I thought I would just walk it around back in the alley myself… forgetting about the popcorn.
Walked back in and SMOOOKEEEEE everywhere. EVERYWHERE. The microwave was still going too, so in case you were wondering it definitely takes LESS than 4 minutes to burn the bejeesus out of that shit.
My husband walks in. “WHAT IS HAPPENING?!?” Me: “POPCORN!” We scramble to open windows (most of which are still stuck because apparently this just happens with old windows that haven’t been opened in ages) and he runs into the garage to get box fans to expedite the de smoking process. This smells BAD. Like I cannot even believe how bad it smelled! About 10 minutes of that, and my husband takes the dogs outside. We are pet sitting for my mom and her dog is very old and we wanted to make sure she peed a couple times before bed. I’m still inside setting up my essential oil diffusers to help with the burn smell (lavender, lemon, and peppermint is my blend of choice for this if you are wondering!)
I hear yelling…. “ROSIE GOT SKUNKED!”
My internal voice in my head WHAT THE FUCK! OMG ALL THE WINDOWS ARE OPEN! Then the smell of skunk starts seeping into the house because truly, ALL the windows that weren’t stuck are open. With fans blowing right next to them.
I start shutting windows as fast as I can (without damaging them because antique windows with rope pulleys yo)!! and then run outside to assess the situation.
She got sprayed in the face… which is where she usually gets sprayed, because she blatantly ignores warning signs and gets all up close and personal with her black and white “friends”. We get the other animals in (who were bright enough to stay away) and I start searching for the bottle of de skunker that I KNOOOWWWW I bought after the last time she got skunked! Found it BOOM #winning! We did that, then the age old traditional baking soda/dish soap/peroxide wash. Then a regular bath.
Oh 30s, you are the best. We already had box fans in the garage to air out the popcorn (and air IN the skunk LOL), we already had a bottle of Nature’s Miracle Skunk Remover in the house, and we also had peroxide and baking soda! Not to mention quick access to junk towels, plastic gloves, and just in general – a protocol. We laughed while we de skunked, and then went back into our burny skunky old home.
In our 20s when this would happen – there would be tears, frustration, and late night trips to wal mart. There would be dogs sleeping in the garage because we couldn’t figure out a solution that worked. There was a week after one skunking where I constantly smelled it IN my damn nose and throat because I breathed it in heavily not knowing that it would stick if I got too close to that oil. Clothes were brought in the house that permeated into everything else.
Experience – I will take you any day of the week – even though it means that my boobs are saggy now and I have permanent bags under my eyes.
Picture of the furry jerkface that loves to sniff skunks and was super happy with us after her 3 baths.
